Chipmunks and squirrels…cute right? Not if you’re a passionate urban gardener. This story will make you laugh at the fight urban gardeners have with those furry little critters. I’ll post it in installments as it’s rather long. This is part one.
The Rodents of Hespeler Hollow
There was a temporary truce while the snow lay soft and white over the landscape of the urban backyard; because in winter, the great battle that raged between man and the creatures of nature was at peace. It was always so. But soon, as the sun warmed the earth and the days grew longer, the earth awoke from its slumber. It was then that the rodent invasions began anew.
It was an epic battle, this one of man over nature. Rascally critters, however diminutive, miraculously triumphed, regardless of the obstacles that man imposed upon them. Constant was the struggle for jurisdiction over the yard. While Suburban Man declared the legality of his ownership, those who belonged to nature were defiant and took for its own all that could be ruthlessly scavenged. All manner of fauna trespassed without regard, to feast upon the delicacies within its boundaries. This so infuriated man that they took extraordinary measures to protect and keep unto themselves that which they toiled so diligently to make orderly and beautiful for their own pleasure.
In our gentle kingdom of Hespeler, there abided three noble men who dutifully took upon them the meticulous care of their castles and the horticulture that defined within. So accomplished were these men that neighbors came from afar to praise and admire that which they had created. Their dominions were maintained to standards that exceeded ordinary standards of perfection, their lawns pristine; their fences ornate. Oh how the onlookers marveled at the flower and vegetable plantings which yielded unbelievable abundance, beautiful to behold. But this came at a great price to the creatures of fur who believed that the land was held in common. And so the battle cry began.
“You ravenous rodents,” they cried. “We toil and you deface the fruits of our labor. Remove yourselves from our kingdom or prepare to perish,” was the harsh warning they resolutely swore in unified defense.
Day after day, the urban Superheroes, kept a watch for the furry intruders for they would do great damage upon the passions which they so prized. Many times our champions would inflict chase in efforts to drive the creatures further afield. But, the fur balls had great stealth and patience and would run and hide only to reemerge from their treetop safe holds and subterranean lairds attacking at times that the noble knights were not watching. These revengeful beasties of nature possessed great cunning. The vermin employed mischievous strategies of their own. It was almost like guerilla warfare for their assaults upon the kingdom occurred when it was left unguarded and least expected. Man realized that more vigilant methods were required and so changed their tactics employing stronger means of defense.
Our Superheroes, Sir Thomas, Squire Paul, and the Earl of Kevin at 47, had good hearts. It was not their intention to bring mortal harm to their furry adversaries. They wanted merely to protect that which they had labored upon so diligently so they could enjoy the magnificence of their homes and gardens. But the creatures had no knowledge of the well-meaning motives of our three gentle hearted champions. They only knew that food and frolic abounded within these borders. To them it was a haven of plenty, a place of merriment. Indeed, they relished the frolic of the game of chase completely misunderstanding that the chase was an act of aggression not friendly play.